Debbie Gibson is the Devil (Part 2)

Anne came through with a buttload of amazing titles for our tell-all book. These honestly made me pee a little when I was laughing out loud in safe, sane rememberence. Enjoy:

-Bumbleland and the Adventures Beyond

-"Cool your jets", "stop being assanine", and other key phrases to use as a mother to guarantee that your kids will write a tell all book about you

-Life after being busted for getting penny candy at Ben Franklin

-Tape, scissors, and other "important" items to scream to your children about

-Free,and mostly illegal and/or morally incorrect,things to do while hiding from your unstable and undermedicated maternal figure

-Ice Cream Soup, Two Rude Dogs, the Ramona Quimby, and Divorcee Perms: Why did this have to happen?

-Molester Ministers, Mullets with Silver Dollar Titties, and Married Adulterers: Male figures that shaped my life.

-Role Reversal in the single parent household or How my mother's tube top ate my adolescence.

-You are fuckt, how am I sane?

-Forgive me, my role models sucked. This is the best I could do.

-Your head looks like a cherry tomato when you scream and other observations of angry mothers.

-Switzerland is a country, not a behavior, Dad.

-Your wife is evil and you are a spineless ass: an synopsis of the every other weekend parental experience.