Desk Sets, Wool, Copper, and Other Items I Simply Don't Need for my Anniversary

Our 7th wedding anniversary is coming up this month. Seven years with each other seems like a pretty big deal, especially since there's no sign of the seven year itch. That sore, itchy redness came early, around the three to four year mark, when I sort of flew off to Vegas one weekend. Vegas strip sulking and missing of the spouse while walking amongst sparkly, fake-breasted emaciated women ensued. But I digress. All things considered, our marriage is moving along swimmingly. We are still very much in love, really enjoy the nookie, and like our life together. I'm happy to have made it this far and I can't wait to spend more of my life with this amazing man who adores me, my boys, my friends, and my family.

The traditional wedding gift list says that I should be receiving wool or copper as a seventh anniversary gift. Fuck. Let's check the modern list. It says I should get a desk sets (or as I keep accidently saying, desk sex). I don't really need that either. But geez, desk sets, wool, and copper all seem so romantic.

This amazing man has not a single romantic bone in his body and it's driving me bonkers. Yes, he has absolutely pulled through at times, but an attempt every six months to a year is hard. I don't need much romance to keep me going. I don't read romance novels and I'm not sold on sappy expressions of love. In fact, I actually determine the intelligence of others by whether or not they read romance novels. Yes, even as light reading. Your intelligence, in my view, is only at an acceptable level if you abstain from romance novels along with Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light. Okay, sorry about that. (Shivers off romance novel and TKPOL willies.) I need this man to remotely think about being lovey and romantic with me, not just saying, "Nice tits," when I change my top. Also, "Hey, wanna do it," is fine as foreplay 80% of the time, but the other 20% I'd like to hear that I'm loved a bit. And it would be nice if when taking pictures, he pretended he knew me and actually liked me. I often have to remind him that I'm his wife and not another one of his brothers.

I KNOW I am loved. I know Mike loves me and everyone who knows us knows Mike loves me. A lot. But last night, we were in the presence of several ultra-lovey couples. First, there was the wedding couple. Ryan seems so comfortable kissing Megan, hugging her, etc. Yes, I know it was their wedding, but this isn't new. Sarah and Carrie are so lovey with each other, it's amazing. They cuddle, kiss, sit close together, you get the picture. They are so in love and it shows. I have to turn to Mike, actually hold his head, and kiss him. I don't want a make out session, I want a romantic closed mouth kiss, an arm around my waist, something.

For our anniversary, I'd love to receive something romantic. I'd love giving something romantic, even though it is usually lost on him.

I assume we'll be settling on Desk Sex.