The Tyrant is Depressed!

Our typically skittish yet oh so macho 1 1/2 year old cat, Ivan, is apparently depressed. That, or he's absolutely pissed at us. He has this little, say, habit of peeing behind our bedroom door and playing Easter egg hunt with his poop under the basement stairs. We just thought he was a punk but online cat whisperers suggest he's depressed and is attempting to garner attention. As IF he is lacking in attention. The moment we brought home this gorgeous cat, and by we I mean my sister and me as my husband stomped and whined at the idea of a cat in the house, Ivan has been the belle of the ball. In fact, my husband calls him "Princess." Then again, the man does spew that sobriquet around quite a bit. He is and always will be true to his name, Ivan the Great/Ivan the Terrible. (Yes, we have a thing for tyrants. The other cat is named, Nero.) He is sweet and lovey, until he bites you so hard you see the baby Jesus before you pass out. He is soft and pretty but will cry at the back door until your ears bleed. He refuses to sleep in bed with us and only really likes Mike. However, he is spoiled rotten. Ivan the G/T has special snackies, a very particular brand of wet food although he is generally fed by carefully chosen dry food, he is the king of an old, orange triangle-shaped ottoman I wish I could throw out, he loves Mike and will only allow himself to be pet by him most days, we shove our corpulence under the furniture for his fantastico toys....you get the picture. We've tried making sure his litter is pristine, cleaning the area with bleach, and sprinkling paprika and red chili powder on it.

Well, the macho Princess is depressed and making it known around the house. Perhaps he would like a masculine title. Any advice is clearly needed. Help!


Musings of a Tyrant to Be