DTN Update
Never wanting you all to forget the joy that is my mother, I am bringing you the latest of the Drunken Teenage Nana, aka, the DTN.
This weekend a cousin from California decided to drive to Florida and back, seeing the country in a solo trip. Along the way, he stopped in sweet Missouri to visit my grandparents who called Everyone, you know, so we could oogle him and snap pictures. And then, the DTN arrived. In the latest uniform. Sucking back something she called "tea" but involved all the ingredients of an Amaretto Sour.
My mom came over in her new daisy duke, LOW cut halter, and no undergarments. She was doing fine, drinking two of her "teas" in about 10 minutes, and talking amongst family. And then, the latent-gay boyfriend came over. Since I am tired of speaking of him in code, I'm going to give you his name. Andy. There, now you have it.
So Andy of the latent-gayness and Larry from Three's Company hair strolls in to the room, and my mom immediately sits ON THE FLOOR to give him her chair. Not that I mind sitting on the floor or care if anyone else does, but I'll be damned if I move for the husband the instant he walks in the room. Andy's sunglasses pulled back his mane of hair like twin barrettes on either side, giving me the church giggles as I pointed it out to Mike.
Andy proceeds to monopolize the conversation with my California cousin, whom he has never met, while we all have to stare. Seriously, by all means Newbie, JOIN a conversation but please don't be an ass and control it. Andy asked his usual inappropriate questions that serve to belittle a person, embarrassing us all. These involve questions like, "So um, are you always going to work there or will you ever find a job that really means something?" All sentences are prefaced with, "So um..." My mom believes he is a genius and a fanstastic conversationlist. No no no. He told her he was surprised I was such a "good mom" since I was a teen mom. She was delighted. I called him a Fucker.
This asshat is a middle school social worker.
He has no social skills, he talks down to everyone, and he truly believes he is amazing and you are not. I can't imagine how effective he is with the kids he's supposed to help. I worry what else he wants to do them.
This weekend, my mother let him take my children to a go-cart place. Alone. Without her and without telling me. Now, seriously, any fool who is super eager to get your kids alone is suspect at best. He actually encouraged her to stay home, insisting that he'll take the kids alone. Did you hear me, he repeatedly insisted that he take them alone! OH HELL NO.
Please, do not a one of you connect my label of his latent gayness to my worry about him being a child molester. I am just trying to figure this man out and my labels may all be crap. I DO NOT believe gay people hurt children any differently than the rest of the population and I have reason to believe it is the straighties that your kids need to watch out for. Also, your children will not "catch the gay" from anyone either, you weird fundies.
Point is, my mother allowed Andy the Weird to take my away children in a car. I'm so freaked out. After brutal questioning of the children I have learned that nothing happened. However, as a child who was in the middle of being primed for molestation before the plot was found out, I'm not being lazy on this one. Maybe he's great and I'm paranoid. Fine. I don't care. Molesters often prime their targets and I know what that is like, even though as a kid I didn't know why Stepdad I acted that way. If for no other reason than Andy creeps me out and is a way too interested in inserting himself in my family and is way too familiar with my children than he should be at this early, early stage...
My kids are officially not allowed at my mom's without me until this man is gone.
This weekend a cousin from California decided to drive to Florida and back, seeing the country in a solo trip. Along the way, he stopped in sweet Missouri to visit my grandparents who called Everyone, you know, so we could oogle him and snap pictures. And then, the DTN arrived. In the latest uniform. Sucking back something she called "tea" but involved all the ingredients of an Amaretto Sour.
My mom came over in her new daisy duke, LOW cut halter, and no undergarments. She was doing fine, drinking two of her "teas" in about 10 minutes, and talking amongst family. And then, the latent-gay boyfriend came over. Since I am tired of speaking of him in code, I'm going to give you his name. Andy. There, now you have it.
So Andy of the latent-gayness and Larry from Three's Company hair strolls in to the room, and my mom immediately sits ON THE FLOOR to give him her chair. Not that I mind sitting on the floor or care if anyone else does, but I'll be damned if I move for the husband the instant he walks in the room. Andy's sunglasses pulled back his mane of hair like twin barrettes on either side, giving me the church giggles as I pointed it out to Mike.
Andy proceeds to monopolize the conversation with my California cousin, whom he has never met, while we all have to stare. Seriously, by all means Newbie, JOIN a conversation but please don't be an ass and control it. Andy asked his usual inappropriate questions that serve to belittle a person, embarrassing us all. These involve questions like, "So um, are you always going to work there or will you ever find a job that really means something?" All sentences are prefaced with, "So um..." My mom believes he is a genius and a fanstastic conversationlist. No no no. He told her he was surprised I was such a "good mom" since I was a teen mom. She was delighted. I called him a Fucker.
This asshat is a middle school social worker.
He has no social skills, he talks down to everyone, and he truly believes he is amazing and you are not. I can't imagine how effective he is with the kids he's supposed to help. I worry what else he wants to do them.
This weekend, my mother let him take my children to a go-cart place. Alone. Without her and without telling me. Now, seriously, any fool who is super eager to get your kids alone is suspect at best. He actually encouraged her to stay home, insisting that he'll take the kids alone. Did you hear me, he repeatedly insisted that he take them alone! OH HELL NO.
Please, do not a one of you connect my label of his latent gayness to my worry about him being a child molester. I am just trying to figure this man out and my labels may all be crap. I DO NOT believe gay people hurt children any differently than the rest of the population and I have reason to believe it is the straighties that your kids need to watch out for. Also, your children will not "catch the gay" from anyone either, you weird fundies.
Point is, my mother allowed Andy the Weird to take my away children in a car. I'm so freaked out. After brutal questioning of the children I have learned that nothing happened. However, as a child who was in the middle of being primed for molestation before the plot was found out, I'm not being lazy on this one. Maybe he's great and I'm paranoid. Fine. I don't care. Molesters often prime their targets and I know what that is like, even though as a kid I didn't know why Stepdad I acted that way. If for no other reason than Andy creeps me out and is a way too interested in inserting himself in my family and is way too familiar with my children than he should be at this early, early stage...
My kids are officially not allowed at my mom's without me until this man is gone.
posted by Sugared Harpy at 12:02 AM
7 Comments:
I don't blame you. He creeps me out also. When he showed up at Grandma's, he just stood outside and didn't knock. He just stood there untill someone got up. Of course we all laughed at him saying "look, he's just standing there, look at him" None of us jumped to tell him to step in, except for Mom.
Melissa, I couldn't agree more with you on this. Doesn't he sort of have a weird Lou feel about him? Not nearly as flippin bizarre as him, but he's definitely odd. I can't explain it. I've only met him once, but he is definitely a decimal or two off. I can't explain it and I definitely wouldn't let my children be alone with him. I think he likes your mom being "out of control", if that is what you want to call it, because then it makes him feel like he has control. I think that situation is strange.
He did just stand there! Someone said, oh um, Andy's standing outside. And then Mom jumped.
That situation is strange. He's all to controlling and makes Mom into his puppet. He's so Kokoschka (an Austrian painter who had a life size doll made of his ex girlfriend)
oh shit, I mean "too controlling"
I don't know the man but from what you said in your post he sounds like a major douche bag lol. I would agree with keepiing your kids from him just mainly based on the creepy creepertons you get when you are around him. Always listen to your gut feelings. As for his job and his social skills what you describe that memememe I am better than you type of communication probably is affective with mememememe teens that he would be working with. He just doesn't realise that this does not work with adults lol. Girl just flush him down and forget he was ever in the toilet lol.
Ohhhh, yes, the creepy creepertons are what's getting me down. I can't get past that and I won't.
I love the toilet comment!
it was pretty awesome.
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