Sorry for the Ex
Yesterday, my ex didn't pick up the boys from school. He gets them every other weekend and instead of me picking them up, driving the 1/4 mile to my house only to transfer them from my car to his car in my driveway, we decided a while ago that he should just pick them up from school. Although I miss saying goodbye to them at 3 instead of in the morning, it allows me to work several more hours at the institution.
At 3:30 I get a call from the boys' school.
"Hiiiii, yeahhh, we have two little boys still here."
Shit. We are in the city and a good 30 minutes away from their school in the 'burbs. I tell the woman I'll call her back in a minute and call my mom. I hate calling my mom for this. I know she loves the kids and if she's able, will pick them up for me. But with mom, comes additional worry. Will she hand them over when I get a hold of Chuck or will she promise the kids they can spend the night (with her and Mr. McMolester)? Will she go get them right away or will she wait an hour and then forget? Is she drunk or will she begin drinking as soon as they get home? I love this woman more than anything, but right now she is a big question mark in reliability and child safety.
She pulled through like a champ. She left work right away, got the boys, took them back to her office where they charmed their way through the Art Department, and then fed them barbecue with the grandparents. My ex picked them up from there.
After calling my mom and asking her to get the boys, I finally got a hold of the ex. He had fallen asleep, cell phone in hand, with his baby daughter on the couch and didn't wake up in time. I woke him up with my repeated phone calls. He yelled at me until I hung up on him. I kept getting accused of screaming at him...but I was in the institution's library, there was no yelling, screaming, or even loud whispering. I was annoyed but not exactly angry.
About ten minutes later, he calls back.
"I'm sorry," he says. I say, "I know, it's okay. What's really going on?"
"I just got screwed in court, I'm losing the house, and my wife just asked for a divorce."
"Oh."
His third child's mother (yes, there are three of us in his mother's club, I'm the goddamn president) just rooked him again with child support. As a city employee, he makes decent money but he's not rich. Apparently, although there is a certain percentage of a parent's check that by law cannot be taken for child support, child care does not work into that percentage. By learning this, the girl's mother immediately put her daughter into private kindergarten and called a lawyer to get my ex for more money.
Ever since he broke up with her, she has played the part of the spurned woman and will. not. back. off. It's horrible and gives all mothers out there a bad name. Most mothers I know had to fight for anything because it was necessary to take care of their children. Child support serves a purpose. Many mothers receive nothing from dead beat dads. But this woman, affectionately known as Satan, has been on a course of revenge for 5 years. Lady, it's time to stop. You have successfully ruined this man. He can no longer afford his home. His wife is leaving in large part because you intrude in their life and future. You are remarried to a man who owns his own plane. You do not need to fuck with him any longer.
I have my own issues with my ex. I'm scarred in ways I may never speak of in this blog. We fell for each other when we were 14 and 15 and found ourselves pregnant when I was 17 and he was 18. We've been through a lot. Our marriage was a horrible joke. We function much better now. I think I'm all he has and so he talks to me a lot about his problems. He creates so many. Except for the periodical hitting on me thing ("come on, baby, let's just go have a private talk in the bathroom"), we get along well. I wish him no harm. Anymore.
To hear that this woman's work will cost him his home and his wife and baby daughter hurts.
At 3:30 I get a call from the boys' school.
"Hiiiii, yeahhh, we have two little boys still here."
Shit. We are in the city and a good 30 minutes away from their school in the 'burbs. I tell the woman I'll call her back in a minute and call my mom. I hate calling my mom for this. I know she loves the kids and if she's able, will pick them up for me. But with mom, comes additional worry. Will she hand them over when I get a hold of Chuck or will she promise the kids they can spend the night (with her and Mr. McMolester)? Will she go get them right away or will she wait an hour and then forget? Is she drunk or will she begin drinking as soon as they get home? I love this woman more than anything, but right now she is a big question mark in reliability and child safety.
She pulled through like a champ. She left work right away, got the boys, took them back to her office where they charmed their way through the Art Department, and then fed them barbecue with the grandparents. My ex picked them up from there.
After calling my mom and asking her to get the boys, I finally got a hold of the ex. He had fallen asleep, cell phone in hand, with his baby daughter on the couch and didn't wake up in time. I woke him up with my repeated phone calls. He yelled at me until I hung up on him. I kept getting accused of screaming at him...but I was in the institution's library, there was no yelling, screaming, or even loud whispering. I was annoyed but not exactly angry.
About ten minutes later, he calls back.
"I'm sorry," he says. I say, "I know, it's okay. What's really going on?"
"I just got screwed in court, I'm losing the house, and my wife just asked for a divorce."
"Oh."
His third child's mother (yes, there are three of us in his mother's club, I'm the goddamn president) just rooked him again with child support. As a city employee, he makes decent money but he's not rich. Apparently, although there is a certain percentage of a parent's check that by law cannot be taken for child support, child care does not work into that percentage. By learning this, the girl's mother immediately put her daughter into private kindergarten and called a lawyer to get my ex for more money.
Ever since he broke up with her, she has played the part of the spurned woman and will. not. back. off. It's horrible and gives all mothers out there a bad name. Most mothers I know had to fight for anything because it was necessary to take care of their children. Child support serves a purpose. Many mothers receive nothing from dead beat dads. But this woman, affectionately known as Satan, has been on a course of revenge for 5 years. Lady, it's time to stop. You have successfully ruined this man. He can no longer afford his home. His wife is leaving in large part because you intrude in their life and future. You are remarried to a man who owns his own plane. You do not need to fuck with him any longer.
I have my own issues with my ex. I'm scarred in ways I may never speak of in this blog. We fell for each other when we were 14 and 15 and found ourselves pregnant when I was 17 and he was 18. We've been through a lot. Our marriage was a horrible joke. We function much better now. I think I'm all he has and so he talks to me a lot about his problems. He creates so many. Except for the periodical hitting on me thing ("come on, baby, let's just go have a private talk in the bathroom"), we get along well. I wish him no harm. Anymore.
To hear that this woman's work will cost him his home and his wife and baby daughter hurts.
posted by Sugared Harpy at 9:13 PM
3 Comments:
As much as I detest your ex, I pity him in so many ways because he seems to always do it to himself and I don't think he will ever get it.
I've finally grown into a space where I pity my ex as well (same shit, fell in love @15, pregnant, married, divorce)--last night my partner was ranting and raving about how stupid my ex is and I became mildly upset . . .
it was strange. Thanks for the post.
I do feel sorry for him, but.....
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