Soy-flavored Joy
I'm actually losing weight. I know, what the fuck? A few weeks ago, I convinced the husband that oh yes darling, we are fat. Not only are we fat, we are way fat and we feel like dogshit about 99% of the time.
As I've said before, I wanted to go back to my previous life as a vegetarian. This time though, I'm armed with a knowledge of herbs and spices and the fact that a diet of bread, fat, and cheese, although meatless, is not, in fact, good for you. So far, the food experiments are going great. I feel better, Mike seems to feel better, and the scale told me I've lost about 3-4 pounds. I think it's coming off my belly too! Less belly, how fabulous is that?
After I finished making sweet love to the scale, I realized that it's been a few weeks and this isn't really that hard. Now, I type this eating a delicious, non-vegan, and non-vegetarian Hostess Cupcake*, but dammit, every now and again a girl needs her some chocolate from the Wonder Bread Store down the way. The point is, eating vegan isn't difficult for me at all. I thought it would take much more work but it doesn't. However, I do like to eat vegetarian because I enjoy dairy, but too much dairy makes both of us feel like ass. Mike digestive system explodes on dairy, but tofu (which was mighty yummy) turned us both inside out and back again. No straight tofu anymore. Soy-based products are nice, but tofu = oh my fucking god no.
Actually, the kids' new favorite thing is meatless brats. They love soy products: brats, hot dogs, burgers, chickeny things, etc. We are still eating some fish, shrimp, and chicken. However, after watching an episode of "Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe," Daniel has sworn off chicken. Google how chicken is processed. He got upset by the way they throw, yes THROW, newborn chicks into buckets according to gender. I didn't have the heart to tell him the real horrors.
Tonight, we had whitefish. Both kids have always hated lighter fishes, favoring salmon. They whined, they balked, then they shut up and ate it. (It couldn't possibly be because of the banshee in the corner screaming, "Shut up and eat your damn fish!") Of course, they loved it.
And my newest favorite joy? Luna bars and Kashi Almond bars, actually filling versions of breakfast. Eat one with a 1/2 bottle of Naked juice and you're set.
Oh, but you'd like a point to all of this wouldn't you?
The point is: I lost weight. Suckas.
*Hostess snacky cakes contain whey, animal shortening, and beef fat. Yes, the label says "beef fat."
As I've said before, I wanted to go back to my previous life as a vegetarian. This time though, I'm armed with a knowledge of herbs and spices and the fact that a diet of bread, fat, and cheese, although meatless, is not, in fact, good for you. So far, the food experiments are going great. I feel better, Mike seems to feel better, and the scale told me I've lost about 3-4 pounds. I think it's coming off my belly too! Less belly, how fabulous is that?
After I finished making sweet love to the scale, I realized that it's been a few weeks and this isn't really that hard. Now, I type this eating a delicious, non-vegan, and non-vegetarian Hostess Cupcake*, but dammit, every now and again a girl needs her some chocolate from the Wonder Bread Store down the way. The point is, eating vegan isn't difficult for me at all. I thought it would take much more work but it doesn't. However, I do like to eat vegetarian because I enjoy dairy, but too much dairy makes both of us feel like ass. Mike digestive system explodes on dairy, but tofu (which was mighty yummy) turned us both inside out and back again. No straight tofu anymore. Soy-based products are nice, but tofu = oh my fucking god no.
Actually, the kids' new favorite thing is meatless brats. They love soy products: brats, hot dogs, burgers, chickeny things, etc. We are still eating some fish, shrimp, and chicken. However, after watching an episode of "Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe," Daniel has sworn off chicken. Google how chicken is processed. He got upset by the way they throw, yes THROW, newborn chicks into buckets according to gender. I didn't have the heart to tell him the real horrors.
Tonight, we had whitefish. Both kids have always hated lighter fishes, favoring salmon. They whined, they balked, then they shut up and ate it. (It couldn't possibly be because of the banshee in the corner screaming, "Shut up and eat your damn fish!") Of course, they loved it.
And my newest favorite joy? Luna bars and Kashi Almond bars, actually filling versions of breakfast. Eat one with a 1/2 bottle of Naked juice and you're set.
Oh, but you'd like a point to all of this wouldn't you?
The point is: I lost weight. Suckas.
*Hostess snacky cakes contain whey, animal shortening, and beef fat. Yes, the label says "beef fat."
posted by Sugared Harpy at 8:16 PM
3 Comments:
Soy is the bomb. We eat alot of soy and turkey as subs for beef. Boca Burgers is delicious! Soy Strawberry Milk from Trader Bob's is my favorite.
Kashi is also so delicious. We demolish the Kashi that is Sugar Smacks light. I don't know what it is called, but damn that Kashi is good.
Also, if you still want to eat Chicken, get Kosher chicken. Rabbis inspect the factories to make sure that the chickens aren't being tortured because Jewish people will not eat "unclean" animals. Its a wee bit more, but not that much.
Love Boca Burgers, but Morningstar Spicy Black Bean burgers are amazing!
I'd love to go to Trader Joe's with you and find all the goodies. We just went the other day but I didn't see the strawberry soy milk.
Kids like the Very Vanilla Soymilk in cereal, it's like sugar in your cereal!
I had noooo idea about the Kosher chicken, thank you!
Yay Sis! Keep it up seester. Get to feel'n better!
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