Just call me Shoemaker, or Levy
Observations from today:
1) My credit card resting on the passenger seat of my car, exposed and alone, after being parked in the street nearish our crazy neighbors house.
2) Said crazy neighbors are ahem, ready for Halloween. I will have pictures of this phenomena, as soon as any damn one of them is not in their front yard hollering at their children where they may see me taking yet another round of pictures of their house.
3) A woman behind me at a red light shaking her fist and screaming. I am also proud to notice her mouthing the words, "Move you fucking bitch." I checked to make sure that yes, indeed there were eight cars ahead of me and yes, indeed the light was red. I have been wrong before.
4) Truck parked near mine in the school's parking lot with zip-tied horns to their front end. No, they did not have a complete front end as the whole of it below the horns was missing. Big fat texas longhorn horns. With Missouri plates. Poseur.
5) Email from my friend Megan had the funniest line in history. From the Onion, "He was the tooliest tool that ever did tool."
6) Apparently, today is women-and-nine-children grocery shopping day. As a woman who shops with kids, part of me feels for them. The other part is mouthing the words, "Move you fucking bitch."
7) Brett's toybox contains toys, pens, blankets, socks, trash, hangers, and the ebola virus.
8) This fabulous painting that I wish I could buy. But I can't. I emailed the artist.
9) My eyes are stinging like mad. Bleach. My husband is cleaning the basement!
10) But if those tools from the trash company don't pick up all our crap this time, instead of only choice bits of our crap like they have the two previous trash days, they will be made my bitch.
1) My credit card resting on the passenger seat of my car, exposed and alone, after being parked in the street nearish our crazy neighbors house.
2) Said crazy neighbors are ahem, ready for Halloween. I will have pictures of this phenomena, as soon as any damn one of them is not in their front yard hollering at their children where they may see me taking yet another round of pictures of their house.
3) A woman behind me at a red light shaking her fist and screaming. I am also proud to notice her mouthing the words, "Move you fucking bitch." I checked to make sure that yes, indeed there were eight cars ahead of me and yes, indeed the light was red. I have been wrong before.
4) Truck parked near mine in the school's parking lot with zip-tied horns to their front end. No, they did not have a complete front end as the whole of it below the horns was missing. Big fat texas longhorn horns. With Missouri plates. Poseur.
5) Email from my friend Megan had the funniest line in history. From the Onion, "He was the tooliest tool that ever did tool."
6) Apparently, today is women-and-nine-children grocery shopping day. As a woman who shops with kids, part of me feels for them. The other part is mouthing the words, "Move you fucking bitch."
7) Brett's toybox contains toys, pens, blankets, socks, trash, hangers, and the ebola virus.
8) This fabulous painting that I wish I could buy. But I can't. I emailed the artist.
9) My eyes are stinging like mad. Bleach. My husband is cleaning the basement!
10) But if those tools from the trash company don't pick up all our crap this time, instead of only choice bits of our crap like they have the two previous trash days, they will be made my bitch.
posted by Sugared Harpy at 9:11 PM
1 Comments:
You are so funny..I love the picture. I want to buy it too. How stunning!
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